I just read a poll where it states that 86% of husbands will divorce their cheating spouse but only 23% of women will divorce their cheating mates. Why do you all think that women are more reluctant to stay in the marriage than a man? Is it a maternal thing? Most men will divorce the wife while most wives will stay. Why?
I think I've read a similar story, but it also had more statistics stating that women are more likely to engage in drawn-out affairs in which they are involved emotionally. Men are less likely to be so involved with the other person. That fact might make one easier to look past. I certainly wouldn't forgive either, I don't need him that much.
Women are MUCH more likely to become financially dependent on their spouses, and because the mother usually takes the kids, that's an additional financial demand women have that men don't.
When you become financially dependent on a person, you become accustomed to a lifestyle (and so do children). Leaving that lifestyle to create one that is potentially way, WAY below what you're used to is a bad, if not terrifying prospect. Also, if kids are used to a certain lifestyle and the mother knows she can't recreate it, she knows that primary custody may stay with the father, and many mothers don't want that.
So, wives rationalize that it's better to turn a blind eye to the cheating and keep the family in tact than leave. I'll bet you anything that the majority of those 23% of women who left were either childless or had already raised their children.
These reasons are why I advocate that women never give up careers, even if their husbands have high incomes, and even after children.
I think the reason is love. Women tend to believe that they are in love with the men they cheat with, and that's unacceptable. Men tend to use the women they cheat with sexually, but not fall in love with them. Most people can accept sexual betrayal more easily than they can being both emotionally and sexually betrayed at the same time.
PS - Your stats indicate that women are less reluctant to stay, not more, so I think you must have worded that part wrong.
I don't believe the poll. I have seen evidence to the contrary. Of all the people I know of where the wife cheated, the men were more why husband cheatsthan willing to make things work, but the wife had already moved on.
Are you misreading it?
If it was "How many couples got divorced after due to the wifes infidelity?" I will believe it since many of those divorces are initiated by the cheating wife.
Women are more likely to form an emotional attachement to their affair partner and thus will be more willing to pursue that relationship and break off their marriage. Even if the woman had a strong attachement to thier husband, they may not be able to discontinue with the affair and as a result force the husband's hand.
Men are less likely to form an emotional bond with the other woman. Its usually just about the physical. Thus they are more willing to do what it takes to make it work with thier wife. They are also more likely to make a clean break with the OW..
In fact, the stats that I have seen show that over 60% of men dont even consider leaving their spouse due to their own affair, but for women that is less than 1/2.
Note: I said More Likely.. these are not absolute statements. There is no one blanket statement that covers all men or women I am not blaming women. Their reasons for the affair often differ from that of men, meaning a greater chance of an emotional component to the affair.
And I know for me.. the emotional affair often hurts more than the physical.
You know....those facts are really disturbing to me. I really don't know why women tend to be more tolerable about adultery then men.
I think some women (myself NOT included), have just come to accept that men can't control themselves...and as long as he doesn't confess "love:" for the woman..or women...then it was just sex.
I think those numbers are probably slowly starting to decline now a days, as women are finally coming to the realization that they can get by in life without a cheating spouse.
No one deserves to endure that pain, and humiliation!
I know I probably haven't shed much insight to the question asked but - I just felt I had to respond.
One last thing though - I'm sure a lot of women don;t want to give up their home, joint bank accounts,the children's home with a mother and father present.....so sadly....they let it slide. And what is even more sad about why husband cheatsit...once the spouse (man or woman) realizes they can do it and get away with it once....it usually continues to happen.
SIGH - what can you do? These women choose to accept it.
So sad!
I'm never sure with poll percentages.
My wife has/still may be cheating, and I won't leave.
We have been together nearly 15 years.
When I got married, it was the "Let no man separate..."
you know the rest, and my vows, I did not keep in mind,
and negleted my wife. I know why she went out, and feel
forgiveness, but staying has hurt me, being with a changed
person. I may have to go, but right now, I'm still here.
They may be afraid to be without a man. Afraid they'll lose their lifestyle or maybe have never worked outside the home. It's really tough to say. Me...I threw my husband out less than one minute after I found out he was cheating. I immediately filed for divorce and never looked back.
One of the reasons I think this happens is because wives generally tend to trust their husbands and even when they suspect an affair, they try to ignore it or lack proof to confirm an affair. Such probably need some lessons I detecting an affair.
Because most women will try and make their marriage work.
I personally would stay and try and make my marriage work, and if the SOB did it a 2nd time...SEE YA!
A myriad of reasons:
History together, a home they've made together, their children, family ties, financial reasons, no job, rather be with cheating husband than being alone, or being scared of starting all over again.
I think that 23% statistic is low. Most women I know leave their partner if they've been cheated on. I did and I never looked back.
i think most men r inmature ! women r always much older minded !
i left and never looked back but some when just need a man personally i think that if people feel the need to cheat they need to get out of the relationship
listen.. men and women alike make mistakes.. dosen't GOD say it's good to forgive??
And comon... up to 60 years with one person?? lol.. comon.. seriously?? ur obviously in your 20'a and\or not married.
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